To Closest Life-Threatening Encounter

Hear this question.

What's the closest encounter that you've had with CRAP but your own?

Or your dog...

Cat...

Fish...

Animals aside.

I meant...HUMAN. CRAP.

So this is my story.

I love rainy nights. Like it's the only reason I'd go to bed early.

Seriously...as early as...midnight. *WOW*

Anyway, it's an entirely different story now.

Whenever dark clouds gather and strong wind blows, a stabbing chill runs down my spine.

Because whenever it pours now, it floods.

No, not your regular flood where it comes and goes, go clean the porch and end of story. Go to bed. You're safe.

NO!

It's one where murky brown, stinking water gushes from all the holes available surrounding your tiny little house and before you know it, you're immersed in shit.

Not kidding.

It happened on Monday and I came home from work with buckets of shit water collected from the overflowing toilet bowls.

And yesterday, it started pouring too and within seconds, we saw shit level rising again. The neighbours' houses were knee-deep. Natnat said the roads leading to our neighbourhood was like an open sea and there were stalled cars everywhere, tolled away by trucks and brigades.

Shit...is still fine. Honestly, I'll just tell myself it's mud and probably barf a couple times while cleaning, spray it off with clean water and it's all good.

No. The flood, washes giant sized centipedes and roaches all the way from Madagascar. You don't even need to go to the butterfly park or bird park or worm park to see all these mother fucking hugeass creatures. Just wait for the flood and whoala!!

Daddy raised it a couple years back. Or else, the house = submarine in crap water.

Bathoom. Almost reaching the centre of my shin.

The backyard. It's like a slightly messy garden with grass and sometimes chickens.

The chickens were missing. I think the centipedes ate them.

Another view of the backyard. Looks like a river doesn't it. Like you can almost ride a bloody sampan on it.

Porch. Hates.

Dear Town Council,

Do you know how many kids there are in this area and they've got to miss school every time some fucked up crap like this happens because it comes so fast everything to be used in class is wet?

Do you know how many old folks there are in this area that need to step into the icy cold crap water, bend over and scoop them outta their drowning houses instead of curling under warm sheets on a cool rainy night?

DO YOU KNOW CENTIPEDES ARE QUITE POISONOUS?!

So if that unknown neighbourhood can divert their flood water to our area and then flooding the entire town area, can we do the same and ensure that it flows right into your bloody skull in order for you to realize that...some massive...epidemic is happening here?!

Okay exaggerated but...YEAH THIS IS A PROBLEM YOU BLOCKHEADS!

Gah.

Please don't rain tonight.

Shit water is not very fun to play in.